Identity Theft Is Not A Joke, Jim

WEBVTT

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It's bitch level. But the other two... Customers,

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they can't remember a fucking password. Meanwhile,

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Jake's hungover like a bitch. At seven in the

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morning while hung the fuck over. Military retirees.

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He didn't say retarded. Well, I'm Jake Jacobs.

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This is Sammy. This is the Don. And you're listening

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to What the Fuck? Once again, I don't know what

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it is about the state of fucking Georgia, but

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a Whataburger employee in Georgia is accused

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of using a customer's card information to pay

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her probation fees. Oh, yeah. Did she not think

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that she would get caught? Police say 25 -year

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-old Alifa Sumter is wanted for felony identity

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theft and felony financial transaction card fraud.

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According to authorities, Sumter, while working

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at Whataburger, allegedly stole debit card information

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from a customer in a drive -thru to pay her probation

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fines and fees with a state court probation officer.

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The customer noticed the $400 charge on her account

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and then told them about the unauthorized transaction.

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So here's a takeaway from that. If you're going

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to steal somebody's debit card information, don't

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use it to pay for your fucking court costs. Dude,

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go buy weed with it, man. Or, yeah, you're right,

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Dawn. Yeah, buy weed with it. Harder to trace.

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Of all the things, like, you know, maybe go to

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Best Buy or Walmart or, well, even those places

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have cameras. So, no, you're going to pay your

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court costs and your fines. And now you're just

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going to end up going to jail for doing it and

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owe more money. You're going to go to more jail.

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You're going to more jail. Oh, my Lord. Listen,

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dude, identity theft ain't no joke either. That

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starts getting into some federal level shit.

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Identity theft is not a joke, Jim. And it had

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to be fucking Whataburger, too, right? Listen,

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we got a couple of Whataburgers here in Florida.

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And I used to really be a big fan, and I'm not

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so sure anymore. Oh, we have to talk about this.

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Is it the one from last week that you were going

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to talk about that you didn't get to talk about

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yet? Okay. Okay, so early in this podcasting

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experience, Sam and I talked about a... content

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creator who got into some trouble. He went into

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a Walmart and he shoplifted a thing of bug spray

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and he decided to be a good idea to spray it

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on some produce. Like an idiot. While he was

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filming and then even some of his followers said,

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dude, that's fucked up. You're an idiot. Yeah,

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like he was live streaming doing it like an asshole.

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Well, someone was able to outdo that. Oh, wait

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a minute, Jake. Before you go to... Trigger warning.

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Trigger warning. Yes. Now, when I say outdo this,

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not only did she outdo it... She outdid him.

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But when they started investigating it, come

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to find out she had been doing it since 2021.

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What was she doing, Jake? Content creator arrested

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for urinating on grocery store food and filming

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it. Police say they found similar videos dating

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back to 2021. That is fucking dandy. So in New

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Hampshire, a food co -op in New Hampshire, I

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guess that's a grocery store. It's like a tiny

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grocery store. Yeah, this store sustained a financial

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loss in excess of $1 ,500. Kelly Tedford was

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arrested on Friday, February 21st after an anonymous

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person reported that she had posted several disturbing

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videos online. According to a release, in one

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of the clips seen by investigators, she appeared

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to be contaminating food with her urine. Now,

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I have a problem with the way that's worded,

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okay? Contaminating food with her urine. Now,

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do they mean... She had her piss in a bottle

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and was spraying it, or was she copying a squat

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on the food? So that's the information that I

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need. And then they investigated her content.

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Come to find out she's been doing it since 2021.

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I got the fucking video, bitches. Oh, shit. If

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she wasn't doing it for her own pleasure or whatever,

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I bet you she was doing it for, like, fetish

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content. Well, yeah, yeah. Which is still not

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okay. No. Dude. Don's taking one for the team

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and he's watching the video. I mean, it's not

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really the piss video, but it's this is the one

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from that from E! News. Does it say she was peeing

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on them or she was like putting her pee in a

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bottle and squirting it or something? None of

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the articles that I've read like. No, it just

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says contaminating items with on the surface

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with urine. Charged with criminal mischief as

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a class B felony. It was probably like OnlyFans

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fetish content. It might be. She was arrested

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after authorities allegedly found videos. Allegedly.

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I love the way they throw that in there. Bitch,

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the motherfucker, there was fucking videos, okay?

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Everything has to be allegedly, though. Yes,

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allegedly. No, they're there. All right, I got

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one of them. Yearned in grocery stores on social

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media since 2021. I don't like the way that was

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worded either, Jake. What in the fiddler's fuck

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goes through somebody's bean to think... that

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it might be a good idea to not only piss on produce,

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video that shit, post it for public consumption,

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or at least a certain genre, and then, I don't

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know, was she making a lot of money? Was money

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worth it? I'm wondering if maybe she was an OnlyFans

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person who, or like... I just don't get it sometimes.

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But, you know, there's so many of these things

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that take place. So this past weekend when I

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was at the trampoline house with my daughter

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for teen night with her and her two little girly

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pops, I let them kind of I gave them a bit of

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a wide berth because I was like, I'm not going

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to be that like crazy overbearing parent. Like,

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I'll give you all. We're all in a building with

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a bunch of other people. If you need me, I'll

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be over here reading my Kindle or playing ball

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of tarot or whatever. Just if you need me, I'll

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be over here. So. By the time they were ready

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to finally leave and they wanted to walk down

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the sidewalk to the Dollar General that was like

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right by because they wanted to get some snackies.

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And I was like, okay, that's fine. We go and

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like originally there was going to be no parent

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there with them. It was just going to be, oh,

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just drop them off and let them. And I was like,

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no, I will forego door dashing because if there's

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no other adult, they're like, oh, but the people

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that work there watch you. I'm like, that's not

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their fucking, no. It's not their job to care

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about you. It's their job, yes, maybe to watch

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you, but not to care about you. I will, I will

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forego money. There's a difference between watching.

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Correct. Yeah. So I stayed there, let them do

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their thing, whatever. And then they're like,

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all right, we're, we're ready to go and go get

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snacks. I was like, it's fine. Go to the dollar

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general, walk in there. They pick out their stuff

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or whatever. Initially when we were walking,

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there was this boy that kind of like trailed

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further behind us, following us. And I kept looking

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back. And by the time we got into the dollar

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general, I looked at my daughter and I said,

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is the lost puppy with us or is he creeping?

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And they were like, no, that's my friend's boyfriend.

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I'm like, why is he creeping behind like a lost

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puppy? Either he needs to like be with us or

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not looking like he's a fucking stalker 20 feet

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back. This is freaking me out. So we get in there,

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whatever. They get their stuff. They walk back

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out. All of a sudden, a woman walks up and she's

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like, just you look like you're tweaking on something,

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sis. Like, I don't know. I don't like to be super

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judgmental. But at the same time, I'm like. You

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could tell something was wrong or something wasn't

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right. And so like they, again, I'd had kind

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of like, I was giving them like about a 10 to

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15 foot berth, kind of not being like up on them.

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But then I saw them walk back in the store with

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this woman and she acted like it looked kind

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of like my daughter's friend knew her. But then

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like I rounded the corner to look back in as

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they were just standing inside the door. And

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like the look on my daughter's face was like.

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not straight deer in the headlights but kind

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of a I don't know what's going on look and so

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I walked in the door and this woman goes oh is

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this your daughter and I'm like yeah it's my

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daughter and she's like oh you you have such

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a beautiful daughter and like her friends are

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so great blah blah yeah I was like what's going

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on and she was like oh I was just I I needed

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some help and I that's when I realized like oh

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they don't know this fucking woman then I saw

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my daughter's eyes and then I saw her friend's

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eyes look at me and she had the deer in the headlights

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look and I was like Great. The closer I got to

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her and the more I interacted, I realized, oh,

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she's fully on something. I don't know what she's

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on. She's tweaking. She's on something. Because

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she was skin and fucking bones and like sunken

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in like meth or something. Nothing like meth,

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baby. And she was like, oh, yeah, my boyfriend's

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trying to send me money so I can buy some stuff.

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But he's in Oklahoma. Oh, God. My cash app's

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not working. And I was like. Nope. I said, what?

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So if it's not working, why are you going to

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have him send it to her to then somehow send

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it to you? I was like, no, no, no. I said, I

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don't, I don't like, I said, these are children.

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I said, I don't feel comfortable with this at

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all. I don't like this. I said, I don't feel

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comfortable with you having a child money. daisy

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chain for you i said no and so she's like no

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no i just i'm trying to and i was like no no

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i said i'm not comfortable with this this is

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not happening and so i i stopped it and she goes

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oh fine whatever just fucking get out of here

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then and i was like and so they we all walked

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back outside and like her friend later on when

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we were walking around told my daughter like

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i'm really glad your mom walked in because i

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would have helped her and i was like girl they

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would have stolen your identity your money your

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god knows what else i said in the future she

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was pissed that you figured it out and i was

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like In the future, no is a full sentence, first

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of all. Oh, yeah. I said, do not feel obligated

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to help a random person you don't know. I said,

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you can say no. I said, do what I did. And I

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guarantee you, your parents will probably tell

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you the same thing. If you are ever in a situation

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where you feel uncomfortable and you don't want

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to do something. blame your fucking parents just

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say no my parents said i'm not allowed to do

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that i i can't i'm not allowed to do that kind

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of stuff i would rather her blame me to get out

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of something than to her do something like what

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you almost did that i stopped happening yeah

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i was like blame your parents or blame do whatever

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you have to do to get a situation but like i

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guarantee your parents would tell you yes blame

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me for something to get you out of a bad situation

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i was like she 100 was going to somehow try and

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steal either steal your money or steal your identity

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i said then your parents would be most unhappy

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about the situation so yeah you did the right

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thing yeah and i was like as soon as i saw the

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look on both of their faces i was like oh fuck

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no I was like, not in my house. And I'm like,

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see, and this is why they needed a fucking adult.

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Because if they'd walked there, just the three

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of them and sad puppy following behind and no

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adult supervision, something nefarious would

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have happened. And this tweaker woman would have

00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:19.120
somehow stolen information or money from them.

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That's how an episode of Criminal Minds would

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have opened. Just like that. So I was like, I

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was like, Em, do you see now why I insist on

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there being an adult? with you all that's like

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somebody's parent and not just like the staff

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members because the kids working at the dollar

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general that were right by the door when this

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was happening couldn't have been out of even

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high school or barely out of high school they

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don't give a fuck truly a what the fuck moment

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who likes mexican food i love it i love it man

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Are you about to ruin it? Don't ruin it. No,

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I'm not. Would you go into a restaurant, a Mexican

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restaurant, and try to use two coupons to pay

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your bill and then get pissed off when the wait

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staff tells you you can only use one coupon per

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table? No, because most everywhere universally

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you can only use one coupon. And most people

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know that, right? I like to read the coupons

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first. Yeah, no, I definitely read coupons before

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I use them. I don't just arbitrarily go, here,

00:11:11.149 --> 00:11:13.809
use all these coupons. Be like, man, that's not

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how that works. This ain't fucking, this ain't

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Walmart. Stephanie Lovins decided it would be

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a good idea to try to do that. And Ricardo, her

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waiter, who only has one arm, by the way, so

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disabled and he's waitstaffed, he politely told

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her no. And she wrote on there on the tip, you're

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an idiot and you should be deported. Of course

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she did. That's what everybody resorts to nowadays.

00:11:35.610 --> 00:11:37.529
And then she scribbled out her name on the bottom

00:11:37.529 --> 00:11:39.429
of the receipt, which is only one problem. There's

00:11:39.429 --> 00:11:41.230
another copy of that receipt. The waitstaff took

00:11:41.230 --> 00:11:43.250
a picture of this receipt and posted it online,

00:11:43.389 --> 00:11:45.830
which is what people do nowadays. And understandably

00:11:45.830 --> 00:11:47.230
so, I think I would have done the same fucking

00:11:47.230 --> 00:11:49.389
thing. Well, this went viral. She lost her job.

00:11:49.590 --> 00:11:52.149
The internet did what it does. She lost her job.

00:11:52.190 --> 00:11:56.649
And then... She tries to put up a GoFundMe, and

00:11:56.649 --> 00:11:59.169
GoFundMe took that shit down quicker than shit.

00:11:59.570 --> 00:12:01.850
Here's my takeaway from that, okay? You go to

00:12:01.850 --> 00:12:03.649
a Mexican restaurant, do you think it's going

00:12:03.649 --> 00:12:06.750
to be primarily American staff in there serving

00:12:06.750 --> 00:12:09.149
you and making it? Probably not. Probably not.

00:12:09.409 --> 00:12:11.669
Not if it's a real good authentic Mexican restaurant.

00:12:11.929 --> 00:12:14.889
So if you're racist, and you're going to a Mexican

00:12:14.889 --> 00:12:17.340
restaurant... And then get pissed off when you

00:12:17.340 --> 00:12:19.519
can't use two coupons. And you think it's a great

00:12:19.519 --> 00:12:21.539
fucking idea to say, should have deported your

00:12:21.539 --> 00:12:24.139
ass. I fucking love Mexican food. Okay. And I

00:12:24.139 --> 00:12:26.419
go into those restaurants knowing that the staff

00:12:26.419 --> 00:12:29.220
is probably going to be Mexican. And I would

00:12:29.220 --> 00:12:31.200
hope that the cooks would be Mexican. So I'm

00:12:31.200 --> 00:12:33.200
getting something. Damn good. Not some American

00:12:33.200 --> 00:12:35.039
guy that learned to learn how to do it at culinary

00:12:35.039 --> 00:12:38.620
school. So you do the stupid thing. You get fired

00:12:38.620 --> 00:12:40.639
for doing the stupid thing. And then you try

00:12:40.639 --> 00:12:44.070
to get. Money because now you lost your job because

00:12:44.070 --> 00:12:45.809
you did this stupid thing and you think you're

00:12:45.809 --> 00:12:48.809
entitled. I read that and I literally out loud

00:12:48.809 --> 00:12:52.669
said, what the fuck? I don't understand how people

00:12:52.669 --> 00:12:56.330
can do things like that. It boggles my mind.

00:12:56.490 --> 00:13:00.950
It is no secret that we have people in this world

00:13:00.950 --> 00:13:04.129
who, because you look different than them, you

00:13:04.129 --> 00:13:07.889
are subpar to them. It doesn't matter what color

00:13:07.889 --> 00:13:10.470
your skin is or anything else. When I go into

00:13:10.470 --> 00:13:14.549
a Mexican restaurant, I want Hispanic young men

00:13:14.549 --> 00:13:18.190
and ladies cooking my shit for me, right? Yeah.

00:13:18.269 --> 00:13:20.529
I want some old Mexican grandmother making some

00:13:20.529 --> 00:13:22.649
fucking mole sauce from the old country, brother.

00:13:22.789 --> 00:13:24.789
People are just trying to make a fucking living,

00:13:24.909 --> 00:13:27.899
man. Yeah. Right? Nothing wrong with that. Why

00:13:27.899 --> 00:13:29.980
the fuck are you going into a Mexican restaurant

00:13:29.980 --> 00:13:31.940
if you have a problem with Mexicans? You like

00:13:31.940 --> 00:13:33.899
the food. You just don't like the people. Okay?

00:13:34.120 --> 00:13:35.620
And then you're going to go in there and then

00:13:35.620 --> 00:13:37.220
you're going to make an ass out of yourself and

00:13:37.220 --> 00:13:39.259
get yourself in trouble. If you want Mexican

00:13:39.259 --> 00:13:41.299
foods without the Mexicans, go to fucking Taco

00:13:41.299 --> 00:13:43.840
Bell, bitch. Go to Taco Bell, bro -ham. Yeah,

00:13:43.840 --> 00:13:46.679
but she took the opportunity, though, to take

00:13:46.679 --> 00:13:48.700
it there. She woke up that morning looking for

00:13:48.700 --> 00:13:51.549
a brawl. Oh, yeah. Right? She was just waiting

00:13:51.549 --> 00:13:53.789
for the opportunity. Well, then she also has

00:13:53.789 --> 00:13:55.570
to be one of those people that doesn't think

00:13:55.570 --> 00:13:58.009
about what's going to happen after I do this

00:13:58.009 --> 00:14:00.149
thing. Obviously, she didn't do that because

00:14:00.149 --> 00:14:02.649
ramifications came down swift and fucking hard.

00:14:02.730 --> 00:14:05.590
She got fucking fired quick. I mean, it was no

00:14:05.590 --> 00:14:07.649
time. Listen, you want to find solidarity in

00:14:07.649 --> 00:14:10.210
Americans? Act like a fucking asshole and you're

00:14:10.210 --> 00:14:14.970
going to be treated like one. If somebody had

00:14:14.970 --> 00:14:17.450
the balls. To walk into Campioni's and start

00:14:17.450 --> 00:14:19.850
fucking with the Campioni staff? Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:14:19.889 --> 00:14:24.330
He'll go, fuck you up. Listen, there is no question

00:14:24.330 --> 00:14:26.970
in my mind about it. There's another place that

00:14:26.970 --> 00:14:29.090
I went to. Melissa and I, we lived in Chicago.

00:14:29.309 --> 00:14:30.889
We were at a restaurant one night. I ordered

00:14:30.889 --> 00:14:32.950
a lasagna. We're sitting at the bar. Melissa

00:14:32.950 --> 00:14:34.230
and I like to sit at the bar because then we

00:14:34.230 --> 00:14:36.149
get to know the owners and the people that worked

00:14:36.149 --> 00:14:38.470
there. We fucked them tables, man. And I ordered

00:14:38.470 --> 00:14:40.990
a lasagna. And immediately, I grabbed a thing

00:14:40.990 --> 00:14:42.990
of oregano. And this guy looks at me and he's

00:14:42.990 --> 00:14:46.399
like, uh. Why you put fucking oregano in my lasagna?

00:14:46.399 --> 00:14:49.259
What the fuck are you doing? I said, I didn't

00:14:49.259 --> 00:14:50.879
even think. He was like, no, you didn't fucking

00:14:50.879 --> 00:14:53.200
think. I put that shit down. It's good without

00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:56.080
it. How dare you? Roger that. Yeah. Ruined the

00:14:56.080 --> 00:14:59.700
flavor profile. Roger that, Godfather. He's going

00:14:59.700 --> 00:15:01.600
to bust my head right there. Can I at least have

00:15:01.600 --> 00:15:03.419
some Parmesan cheese? The Italians and the Irish,

00:15:03.500 --> 00:15:04.899
man. We're fixing to go out and he was going

00:15:04.899 --> 00:15:05.419
to fucking win.