Ingesting Sports Talk

0:00 nobody wants to see moose knuckle you're welcome jake you motherfuckers with the goddamn cheese and the shit by my fucking my face look crooked which it probably is you sure your ears aren't crooked buddy it could be i don't know everything else is crooked so uh oh it's moist inside this thing there are little balls there he's got balls around his neck jake i said balls and choked on it bitch if y 'all gonna make me contribute to sports cock if you ever say the word contribute again i'm gonna fucking slap the taste out of your mouth i honestly heard sports cock i heard sports cock i didn't say guys the sports talk i just said it if they want me to contribute to sports cock what the fuck did you mean sports talk i enjoy them but i don't ingest them i said so if you want me to ingest hopefully they don't want you to ingest sports That was nasty, Jake.

0:55 Boy, you need some Jesus. Name of the episode, ingesting sports. I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy. This is the Don. And you're listening to what the fuck. Welcome to What the Fuck, the podcast where we say all the things you're thinking. But probably shouldn't. Which to God weren't happening. My whole life is just one big what the fuck right now. How do you say what the fuck in Spanish? Stand by. In Spanish, what the fuck is? Que coño. Season three. What the fuck? What the fuck? Season three, baby. How did we get here? Grace of God and I don't even know. Here's the fun part. Thoughts and prayers. We mention this shit all the time. That there's two Gen Xers and a millennial. And we've not killed each other. This is true. I got the sugar daddy DM the other day on TikTok. Did you? I did. I did.

2:06 Oh, yes. It was a dude. His name was Victor. He wants you to be a sugar daddy? He wants to be my sugar daddy. What? Well, so he kicks it off with, hello, gorgeous heart. I want to fucking puke already. Sorry. Would you be open to the idea of having a sugar daddy that is willing to spoil, support you financially with all your needs, debts, and things you would like to get, and a weekly allowance of 20 ,000 pounds? Obviously, this is in the UK, right? Right. Kind of get back to me if you're interested. Victor. Victor. I was still laying in bed when I got this. I'm like, that's just fucking. Did you get a boner?

2:48 20 ,000 pounds a week. I was trying to do the math on that. I said to myself, I said, Jake, this is easy content here. So I did a quick video. It took me like three minutes. I did some quick cuts. back and forth of the screenshot of that. And I made sure that I obscured his name so that he can't come back because, oh, you fucking doxxed me, whatever. So I did that. And the video did pretty well. And then I was like, you know what? I'm going to have some fun with this guy. I want to see where this goes. So I actually messaged him back. Oh, boy. Yeah. Oh, no. So I said, Victor, thank you for your proposal. I'm a man. Does that make a difference? And I'm thinking to myself, okay, this is where this is going to end, right?

3:34 Right. Like, clearly he's seen the videos he has. Oh, no. Oh, no. About three minutes later, no. Simple answer, no. And I'm like, hmm. What do you need from me for deposits, baby? So now I'm trying to get him to admit to the scam, right? I said, how does this work? Do I have to send you money up front to start? In order for this to work, I need to send him $100 for processing bank fees. Right, like something like that. Here was his response. Well, I only want honesty and straightforward in return from my babies. That is kind of ick, right? That gives me wild ick. What my babies do is chat with me, keep me company, and give me advice when needed. No sex. A red X after the sex. No sending of nudes, pictures, and then a smiley with the two hearts for the eyes. And it was at that point where I'm like, report that shit. And I sent the screenshot to TikTok, right? Of that brief conversation that I had with him, right? TikTok comes back and says, yeah, that's not violating our community guidelines. You may not like that, but, you know, there's nothing we can do. You may just want to block them. Wow. So. Why would I block the guys offering me fucking $27 ,000 a fucking week?

4:46 Is that what that is? Yeah, 20 ,000 pounds. A little over $27 ,000. I mean, if all I got to do is talk to the dude. You just got to, whatever he talks to you about, just plug it into chat GPT and say, give me a response, and then just copy and paste that shit in there. Brotherly advice. You don't even have to have a... actual hell no man i mean how'd that motherfucker send you some malaysian biatch hey twenty seven thousand dollars a week seven thousand shit can i get in on that deal let me think about this loop me into that so at the end of the tiktok video i was like uh can anybody tell me what that equates to anybody here know victor uh is he legit So yeah, 20, $27 ,000, 27, three, something or another.

5:30 20 bucks is 20 bucks. Motherfucker. Don't forget. 27 ,000. I'll be somebody's sugar baby. Shit. That's right. You just add all the fucking zeros you want behind it. 20 ,000 pounds is 20 ,000 pounds. I mean, Victor. Fuck you, you motherfucker. You didn't reach out to me, you piece of shit. If he's got that kind of disposable income, and all I got to do is talk to the dude, I mean, come on. If that's part of the scam, if it's going to cost me $100 to get $27 ,000 a week, that's a pretty good trade -off, I think. That's a very good trade -off, and fucking do it. Shit, fucking pay off this fucking Harley and buy like 10 more. Wow, you can never have too many Harleys, that's for sure. Don has a list of the top three worst... Drivers of the Week by License Plate.

6:18 So every fucking day I have the privilege of driving between the cities of St. Augustine, Florida and Daytona Beach, Florida. And it is a tourist pathway between Miami and the Keys. And then folks leaving and going home from Florida to wherever it is that they came from. to who's fucking up the flow of traffic, basically. Not just the left -landers. And we all know what the left lane is for. Right. It is for crime, bitches. But I like to look at their license plate, too. So when the rain starts raining real hard, who's got their flashing lights on? I judge harshly. And just for the record, so let me go ahead and get this straight before I start fucking your lives up out there and y 'all get all offended and shit. I'm from Louisiana. We drive like shit in Louisiana. I got to knock that out of the park. My chosen home for many, many years now has been Florida. We drive like shit in Florida.

7:25 So this week, as bad as we drive in Florida, and normally, let's set a mean line, shall we? Basically, the worst drivers that I see on a regular basis. motherfucking Georgians. If there's a Georgia license plate, you can bet that needle dick is fucking up traffic flow. Wow. Right off the bat. Exactly. Yeah. So Georgia is generally the worst. Not this week. Good job, Georgia. South Carolina is always pretty fucking bad. They're not good. This week, they made the list. And that's unfortunate. But those two are generally, those are kind of the worst, the top two. Top three, you know, I'm looking at Pennsylvania, New York, and New Jersey. Those are kind of my top five all the time. Now this week, I could hold this whole reference to a Sunday drive home after vacationing in Florida. Thank you for coming.

8:22 We appreciate you. We really do. We love your revenue and the diversity you bring here. But this week. The number three driver. If I can get a drum roll, Jake, that would be outstanding. Quebec, Canada. You motherfuckers. I usually love you people, but Canada. Quebec. Specifically. Fucking Canucks. Yeah, I'm going to need you to get out of my left lane. All right? Period. Thank you. Normally Canadians, and we love you, we do. But yeah, Quebec, I saw a lot of, and one of them was driving a really big bus, like a camper bus. Big money. Towing a Jeep, a nice Jeep, by the way. So Quebec, you hit number three.

9:04 Number two. Can I get a drum roll, Jake? Motherfucking Utah. First off, why are you in Florida this week? The Mormons? What are they doing there? The Mormons, baby. For debauchery? Yeah. Yeah, Utah. How many left do you have? Yeah, it's really brutal. And I was really not looking for new fuck -up drivers, but I certainly found them. They found you. They definitely did. And this was kind of a shock. The number one worst driver in Florida this week, Ohio. Very disappointed. Ohio. Very disappointed in your driving. Now, that being said, I got a lot of Ohio people that came into the shop. Super nice people. Love them.

9:56 A lot of New York folks. New York, you did a great job this week driving. You know, Don, it's funny you mentioned Ohio. I did a quick road rage video on TikTok a couple days ago. It said, it is not illegal to use your turn signals. The other cars around you are not fucking line riders. I had a very specific comment. You've never driven in Ohio, have you? I was like, whoa, I guess not. And we appreciate that, too. But for those of you who have never driven in Florida. Especially considering the low amount of requirements to even have a vehicle on the road in Florida. I'm surprised we have to have a driver's license here. Right. Y 'all could be driving the skeleton of a vehicle as long as it's on wheels and you're strapped in. You're good to go. You know who was born and raised in Florida. These motherfuckers refuse to use a... When you buy a car, a new one in Florida, they don't even come with that handle on the left, I'm pretty sure. Because they don't use it. Wow. I know. And I've lived all over this country, by the way. The Navy was very good to me. I've lived all over the country.

11:05 I've traveled all over the country. I've tried to get run over on my motorcycle in most every state. And Florida, I ride this bitch every single day. And it is the worst. Because we have so many people here. We've got snowbirds. They don't necessarily live here. We've got a lot of military. We're all nuts. And drive motorcycles like morons. Yeah. Don and I have a mutual friend that I think we both met right around the same time. Her name is Renee. Beautiful, sweet lady. She's just the best person that you could ever do anything for you. Yeah. Give you the shirt off her back. We love you, Renee. Hope you listen to this show. Shortly after meeting her, she asked, what do you think of Nashville? I was like, I love it. This is great. This is still when I was still in the I'm in awe moment, right? You know, I wasn't jaded then. And I was like, well, my only issue is with the drivers here in Nashville.

11:54 Is it illegal? to use your turn signals here in Nashville? And her response, now she's lived here. She was born and raised here, right? Turn signals? You trying to get somebody killed? When I initially got trained on lottery shit, it was by a manager who, within two days of me getting hired and trained, left for medical reasons. I assume... Going out the door, a few things slipped through the fucking cracks in teaching me shit. I have a little notebook that I wrote down like everything I could possibly capture as she's telling me and as well as other managers after she left that are telling me like, hey, this is how you do this. This is how you do this. So like I have a whole notebook of shit written down. Lottery included, how you do payouts for both online and scratchers and blah, blah, blah, whatever. A whole page that is literally just dedicated to scratcher payout. In all of that, nobody thought. to inform me that there was a maximum allowable payout per day per person.

12:54 Because I've never worked in an atmosphere where I've done lottery payouts, so this is not common knowledge to me. Okay, yeah, no, yeah, it makes sense. I mean, yeah. Right. So in, I don't know if it's different states of state, but in the state of North Carolina, the payout amount is no more than $5 .99 a day per person per day. Did not know this. Well, now you do. Is that cash? Cash payout, yes. So little Sammy, not knowing this, goes to cash a woman out who had a bunch of scratchers that she went on for $1 ,900. Good for her. Yeah. And so after I do it, I see two managers looking at me like. The fuck did you just do? First of all, why did nobody stop me? But also. Yeah. Why didn't the system fucking stop me? If there's supposed to be a limit. That's true. Why didn't the system say, hey. This is over a limit. You can't pay this out. That should be built in. Correct. I fully fucking agree with you. So after this woman leaves and I've given her all her money or whatever, and these two managers come over and they grab one of the other girls who does a similar job to me and go, hey, we need you to watch the front real quick. And they're like saying, we need you to come in the office. And I'm like, for what? I don't understand. Like did not know.

14:03 I'm like, did a customer complain against me? Like what? I don't understand. Why do you need to talk to me? Fucking oblivious because he didn't know. So as we're walking in the office, one of the managers who was pulling me in the office goes, don't freak out. And I said, why the fuck would you say that to me? I am a perpetual overthinker. Why the fuck would you say don't freak out to me as I'm walking into a manager's office for a closed -door meeting with two managers all of a sudden? So they sit me down, and they're like, we were just kind of wondering why you paid her out that much. I'm like, what do you mean? She won. I don't see the problem here. And they're like, there's a limit. I said, does it seem like I fucking knew that? Clearly, I didn't know that. Yeah, they're like, the limit is $5 .99 per person per day, whatever. And I said, Would have been nice to know. I said, I don't have that written in my notebook. Nobody told me. Obviously, I'm not a fucking retard.

14:53 And I hate that word. But like, I'm not an idiot. Oh, we love it. I know. But I was like, I'm not an idiot. I wouldn't have paid this woman out that much money if I knew. Right. Because $600 and over, they have to go to the lottery office because it has to be taxed. I didn't fucking know this until this meeting that we're having as I'm like getting. more and more freaked the fuck out by the situation. And so then I start getting pissed off. And when I get pissed off, I cry because it's either I get pissed off and I cry or I get pissed off and I start punching things. And I was like, I'm not trying to lose my job for destruction of property. So I'm getting more and more pissed off at the situation because I'm like, this could have been rectified if I'd been trained properly. this could have never happened and i wouldn't be sitting here freaking the fuck out had i been trained properly how did they respond to that they didn't really they just kind of were like really yeah so they were like well you're probably gonna have to talk to ap like asset protection probably gonna have to talk to the store manager I was losing my absolute shit. I had to literally be like, I need to take a break right now and walk out to my car and call my father to talk me off a ledge.

16:00 Part of what was also pissing me off was the fact that this woman who I paid out when I was scanning her stuff, she's like, oh yeah, this is how I make my living.