Identity Theft Is Not A Joke, Jim

0:00 It's bitch level. But the other two... Customers, they can't remember a fucking password. Meanwhile, Jake's hungover like a bitch. At seven in the morning while hung the fuck over. Military retirees. He didn't say retarded. Well, I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy. This is the Don. And you're listening to What the Fuck? Once again, I don't know what it is about the state of fucking Georgia, but a Whataburger employee in Georgia is accused of using a customer's card information to pay her probation fees. Oh, yeah. Did she not think that she would get caught? Police say 25 -year -old Alifa Sumter is wanted for felony identity theft and felony financial transaction card fraud.

0:51 According to authorities, Sumter, while working at Whataburger, allegedly stole debit card information from a customer in a drive -thru to pay her probation fines and fees with a state court probation officer. The customer noticed the $400 charge on her account and then told them about the unauthorized transaction. So here's a takeaway from that. If you're going to steal somebody's debit card information, don't use it to pay for your fucking court costs. Dude, go buy weed with it, man. Or, yeah, you're right, Dawn. Yeah, buy weed with it. Harder to trace. Of all the things, like, you know, maybe go to Best Buy or Walmart or, well, even those places have cameras. So, no, you're going to pay your court costs and your fines. And now you're just going to end up going to jail for doing it and owe more money. You're going to go to more jail.

1:39 You're going to more jail. Oh, my Lord. Listen, dude, identity theft ain't no joke either. That starts getting into some federal level shit. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim. And it had to be fucking Whataburger, too, right? Listen, we got a couple of Whataburgers here in Florida. And I used to really be a big fan, and I'm not so sure anymore. Oh, we have to talk about this. Is it the one from last week that you were going to talk about that you didn't get to talk about yet? Okay. Okay, so early in this podcasting experience, Sam and I talked about a... content creator who got into some trouble. He went into a Walmart and he shoplifted a thing of bug spray and he decided to be a good idea to spray it on some produce. Like an idiot. While he was filming and then even some of his followers said, dude, that's fucked up. You're an idiot. Yeah, like he was live streaming doing it like an asshole.

2:27 Well, someone was able to outdo that. Oh, wait a minute, Jake. Before you go to... Trigger warning. Trigger warning. Yes. Now, when I say outdo this, not only did she outdo it... She outdid him. But when they started investigating it, come to find out she had been doing it since 2021. What was she doing, Jake? Content creator arrested for urinating on grocery store food and filming it. Police say they found similar videos dating back to 2021. That is fucking dandy. So in New Hampshire, a food co -op in New Hampshire, I guess that's a grocery store. It's like a tiny grocery store. Yeah, this store sustained a financial loss in excess of $1 ,500. Kelly Tedford was arrested on Friday, February 21st after an anonymous person reported that she had posted several disturbing videos online. According to a release, in one of the clips seen by investigators, she appeared to be contaminating food with her urine. Now, I have a problem with the way that's worded, okay? Contaminating food with her urine. Now, do they mean... She had her piss in a bottle and was spraying it, or was she copying a squat on the food? So that's the information that I need. And then they investigated her content.

3:42 Come to find out she's been doing it since 2021. I got the fucking video, bitches. Oh, shit. If she wasn't doing it for her own pleasure or whatever, I bet you she was doing it for, like, fetish content. Well, yeah, yeah. Which is still not okay. No. Dude. Don's taking one for the team and he's watching the video. I mean, it's not really the piss video, but it's this is the one from that from E! News. Does it say she was peeing on them or she was like putting her pee in a bottle and squirting it or something? None of the articles that I've read like. No, it just says contaminating items with on the surface with urine. Charged with criminal mischief as a class B felony. It was probably like OnlyFans fetish content. It might be. She was arrested after authorities allegedly found videos. Allegedly.

4:32 I love the way they throw that in there. Bitch, the motherfucker, there was fucking videos, okay? Everything has to be allegedly, though. Yes, allegedly. No, they're there. All right, I got one of them. Yearned in grocery stores on social media since 2021. I don't like the way that was worded either, Jake. What in the fiddler's fuck goes through somebody's bean to think... that it might be a good idea to not only piss on produce, video that shit, post it for public consumption, or at least a certain genre, and then, I don't know, was she making a lot of money? Was money worth it? I'm wondering if maybe she was an OnlyFans person who, or like... I just don't get it sometimes.

5:16 But, you know, there's so many of these things that take place. So this past weekend when I was at the trampoline house with my daughter for teen night with her and her two little girly pops, I let them kind of I gave them a bit of a wide berth because I was like, I'm not going to be that like crazy overbearing parent. Like, I'll give you all. We're all in a building with a bunch of other people. If you need me, I'll be over here reading my Kindle or playing ball of tarot or whatever. Just if you need me, I'll be over here. So. By the time they were ready to finally leave and they wanted to walk down the sidewalk to the Dollar General that was like right by because they wanted to get some snackies. And I was like, okay, that's fine. We go and like originally there was going to be no parent there with them. It was just going to be, oh, just drop them off and let them. And I was like, no, I will forego door dashing because if there's no other adult, they're like, oh, but the people that work there watch you. I'm like, that's not their fucking, no. It's not their job to care about you. It's their job, yes, maybe to watch you, but not to care about you. I will, I will forego money. There's a difference between watching.

6:14 Correct. Yeah. So I stayed there, let them do their thing, whatever. And then they're like, all right, we're, we're ready to go and go get snacks. I was like, it's fine. Go to the dollar general, walk in there. They pick out their stuff or whatever. Initially when we were walking, there was this boy that kind of like trailed further behind us, following us. And I kept looking back. And by the time we got into the dollar general, I looked at my daughter and I said, is the lost puppy with us or is he creeping? And they were like, no, that's my friend's boyfriend. I'm like, why is he creeping behind like a lost puppy? Either he needs to like be with us or not looking like he's a fucking stalker 20 feet back. This is freaking me out. So we get in there, whatever. They get their stuff. They walk back out. All of a sudden, a woman walks up and she's like, just you look like you're tweaking on something, sis. Like, I don't know. I don't like to be super judgmental. But at the same time, I'm like. You could tell something was wrong or something wasn't right. And so like they, again, I'd had kind of like, I was giving them like about a 10 to 15 foot berth, kind of not being like up on them.

7:13 But then I saw them walk back in the store with this woman and she acted like it looked kind of like my daughter's friend knew her. But then like I rounded the corner to look back in as they were just standing inside the door. And like the look on my daughter's face was like. not straight deer in the headlights but kind of a I don't know what's going on look and so I walked in the door and this woman goes oh is this your daughter and I'm like yeah it's my daughter and she's like oh you you have such a beautiful daughter and like her friends are so great blah blah yeah I was like what's going on and she was like oh I was just I I needed some help and I that's when I realized like oh they don't know this fucking woman then I saw my daughter's eyes and then I saw her friend's eyes look at me and she had the deer in the headlights look and I was like Great. The closer I got to her and the more I interacted, I realized, oh, she's fully on something. I don't know what she's on. She's tweaking. She's on something. Because she was skin and fucking bones and like sunken in like meth or something. Nothing like meth, baby. And she was like, oh, yeah, my boyfriend's trying to send me money so I can buy some stuff.

8:09 But he's in Oklahoma. Oh, God. My cash app's not working. And I was like. Nope. I said, what? So if it's not working, why are you going to have him send it to her to then somehow send it to you? I was like, no, no, no. I said, I don't, I don't like, I said, these are children. I said, I don't feel comfortable with this at all. I don't like this. I said, I don't feel comfortable with you having a child money. daisy chain for you i said no and so she's like no no i just i'm trying to and i was like no no i said i'm not comfortable with this this is not happening and so i i stopped it and she goes oh fine whatever just fucking get out of here then and i was like and so they we all walked back outside and like her friend later on when we were walking around told my daughter like i'm really glad your mom walked in because i would have helped her and i was like girl they would have stolen your identity your money your god knows what else i said in the future she was pissed that you figured it out and i was like In the future, no is a full sentence, first of all. Oh, yeah. I said, do not feel obligated to help a random person you don't know. I said, you can say no. I said, do what I did. And I guarantee you, your parents will probably tell you the same thing. If you are ever in a situation where you feel uncomfortable and you don't want to do something. blame your fucking parents just say no my parents said i'm not allowed to do that i i can't i'm not allowed to do that kind of stuff i would rather her blame me to get out of something than to her do something like what you almost did that i stopped happening yeah i was like blame your parents or blame do whatever

9:39 you have to do to get a situation but like i guarantee your parents would tell you yes blame me for something to get you out of a bad situation i was like she 100 was going to somehow try and steal either steal your money or steal your identity i said then your parents would be most unhappy about the situation so yeah you did the right thing yeah and i was like as soon as i saw the look on both of their faces i was like oh fuck no I was like, not in my house. And I'm like, see, and this is why they needed a fucking adult. Because if they'd walked there, just the three of them and sad puppy following behind and no adult supervision, something nefarious would have happened. And this tweaker woman would have somehow stolen information or money from them. That's how an episode of Criminal Minds would have opened. Just like that. So I was like, I was like, Em, do you see now why I insist on there being an adult? with you all that's like somebody's parent and not just like the staff members because the kids working at the dollar general that were right by the door when this was happening couldn't have been out of even high school or barely out of high school they don't give a fuck truly a what the fuck moment who likes mexican food i love it i love it man Are you about to ruin it? Don't ruin it. No, I'm not. Would you go into a restaurant, a Mexican restaurant, and try to use two coupons to pay your bill and then get pissed off when the wait staff tells you you can only use one coupon per table? No, because most everywhere universally you can only use one coupon. And most people know that, right? I like to read the coupons first. Yeah, no, I definitely read coupons before I use them. I don't just arbitrarily go, here,

11:11 use all these coupons. Be like, man, that's not how that works. This ain't fucking, this ain't Walmart. Stephanie Lovins decided it would be a good idea to try to do that. And Ricardo, her waiter, who only has one arm, by the way, so disabled and he's waitstaffed, he politely told her no. And she wrote on there on the tip, you're an idiot and you should be deported. Of course she did. That's what everybody resorts to nowadays. And then she scribbled out her name on the bottom of the receipt, which is only one problem. There's another copy of that receipt. The waitstaff took a picture of this receipt and posted it online, which is what people do nowadays. And understandably so, I think I would have done the same fucking thing. Well, this went viral. She lost her job. The internet did what it does. She lost her job.

11:52 And then... She tries to put up a GoFundMe, and GoFundMe took that shit down quicker than shit. Here's my takeaway from that, okay? You go to a Mexican restaurant, do you think it's going to be primarily American staff in there serving you and making it? Probably not. Probably not. Not if it's a real good authentic Mexican restaurant. So if you're racist, and you're going to a Mexican restaurant... And then get pissed off when you can't use two coupons. And you think it's a great fucking idea to say, should have deported your ass. I fucking love Mexican food. Okay. And I go into those restaurants knowing that the staff is probably going to be Mexican. And I would hope that the cooks would be Mexican. So I'm getting something. Damn good. Not some American guy that learned to learn how to do it at culinary school. So you do the stupid thing. You get fired for doing the stupid thing. And then you try to get. Money because now you lost your job because you did this stupid thing and you think you're entitled. I read that and I literally out loud said, what the fuck? I don't understand how people can do things like that. It boggles my mind.

12:56 It is no secret that we have people in this world who, because you look different than them, you are subpar to them. It doesn't matter what color your skin is or anything else. When I go into a Mexican restaurant, I want Hispanic young men and ladies cooking my shit for me, right? Yeah. I want some old Mexican grandmother making some fucking mole sauce from the old country, brother. People are just trying to make a fucking living, man. Yeah. Right? Nothing wrong with that. Why the fuck are you going into a Mexican restaurant if you have a problem with Mexicans? You like the food. You just don't like the people. Okay? And then you're going to go in there and then you're going to make an ass out of yourself and get yourself in trouble. If you want Mexican foods without the Mexicans, go to fucking Taco Bell, bitch. Go to Taco Bell, bro -ham. Yeah, but she took the opportunity, though, to take it there. She woke up that morning looking for a brawl. Oh, yeah. Right? She was just waiting for the opportunity. Well, then she also has to be one of those people that doesn't think about what's going to happen after I do this thing. Obviously, she didn't do that because ramifications came down swift and fucking hard.

14:02 She got fucking fired quick. I mean, it was no time. Listen, you want to find solidarity in Americans? Act like a fucking asshole and you're going to be treated like one. If somebody had the balls. To walk into Campioni's and start fucking with the Campioni staff? Oh, Jesus Christ. He'll go, fuck you up. Listen, there is no question in my mind about it. There's another place that I went to. Melissa and I, we lived in Chicago. We were at a restaurant one night. I ordered a lasagna. We're sitting at the bar. Melissa and I like to sit at the bar because then we get to know the owners and the people that worked there. We fucked them tables, man. And I ordered a lasagna. And immediately, I grabbed a thing of oregano. And this guy looks at me and he's like, uh. Why you put fucking oregano in my lasagna?

14:46 What the fuck are you doing? I said, I didn't even think. He was like, no, you didn't fucking think. I put that shit down. It's good without it. How dare you? Roger that. Yeah. Ruined the flavor profile. Roger that, Godfather. He's going to bust my head right there. Can I at least have some Parmesan cheese? The Italians and the Irish, man. We're fixing to go out and he was going to fucking win.