I'm Your Huckleberry

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I got a f***ing hair in my mouth. What the f***

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is going on here? Well, I wonder why. I'm a f***er.

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Anyway. While the band's out drinking and getting

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strange wool, you're working. So, don't be a

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f***er. Yeah. It doesn't say anything dumb like,

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eat at the Y. No, it's literally just a half

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sun, half moon that I had drawn that he transposed

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onto me. On dry sterile dressing. Not duct tape.

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As long as it's sterile. Jesus. There is something

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to be said about rodent. That's all I'm going

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to say about that. Well, in my case, it wouldn't

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be skinny dipping. It would be chunky dunking.

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Better fucking do what you son of a bitch. Motherfucker,

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one more time. Catholicism. Catholicism. Whatever.

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I don't fucking know the word for it. Catholicism.

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So please. So maybe I'm not fucking crazy. Well,

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you're fucking crazy. Well, my throat is properly

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lubricated. That did not sound right. That was

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exactly what you said. Pause. The thought went

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through my head and it came out of my mouth.

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You need to stop talking, dude. Yeah, yeah. Not

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for nothing, Jake, but I'm here to help. I'm

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Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy. This is the Don.

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And you're listening to What the Fuck? Welcome

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to What the Fuck, the podcast where we say all

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the things you're thinking, but probably shouldn't.

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You ever had something so good, so fucking positive

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that you just go, what the fuck, dude? I get

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to do this every day, or I live here. This happened

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to my wife and I. We lived in Arizona. And what

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brought it up is it happened again two days ago.

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We used to wake up every morning in our backyard

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with a swimming pool, fucking beer fridge back

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there, big screen TV. And we looked at the fucking

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mountains from our backyard. It was phenomenal.

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And I remember sitting back there and we were

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like. Wow. We live here. So she met me at the

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shop the other day. Of course, I left my fucking

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fog lights on. I finally fucked it up and left

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it on. So I burned my battery up. I went outside.

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The fog light was flashing. It was trying to

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hang in there. Help me. Oh, shit. So I put it

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on the battery tender and I said, hey, can I

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ride your motorcycle to work? And it's Friday.

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She always meets me at the shop. Anyway, she

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comes over there. We have a couple of beers,

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whatever we do. And we listen to music and then

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we ride home down the beach. A1A. Beautiful.

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So she shoots me this thing and she says, look

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at this Cajun restaurant that just opened up.

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The owner's from New Orleans. So let's go check

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it out. Anyway, she came over, listened to some

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great tunes. It's a blues player, dude. This

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guy was tearing ass. We took off. Beautiful,

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sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky. And we sat

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down in front right on the Atlantic Ocean at

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this Cajun restaurant. I'm eating crawfish and

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gumbo. And she's eating these fucking Cajun shrimp.

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And we're looking out at this fucking glassy

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ocean. Atlantic Ocean's perfect. The sun's perfect.

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The temperature's perfect. Everything is. We're

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like, what? fuck how did this happen to us you

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know we get to live here but the point is it

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can also be something very positive and for those

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of you in the field out there in our Awesome

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audience. We hold each other up. You know, this

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is our therapy. And positivity breeds positivity.

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We know that. But sometimes we just like to shit

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talk. And we shit talk each other worse than

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anything else. So we don't give a fuck. I just

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thought I wanted to bring that up. You know,

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heckling has been going on for a long time. Like

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comedians have been dealing with hecklers. But

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it's also, it's funny when it ties into it. And

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it's like just like a little sprinkle here and

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there. It does. Like to add to the comedy of

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it. But when you're just being annoying to be

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annoying, it's not funny anymore. If the performer

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plays off of you, right? Right. Otherwise, shut

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the fuck up. Correct. There's plenty of examples

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of this on YouTube, but this is just one that

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I saw recently where a husband and wife were

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there. The wife had a little bit too much to

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drink and she was heckling this comedian and

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the comedian, he was handling it like any comedian

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would. Well, she was getting madder by the minute,

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the more he was handling it because she thought

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she was in charge. She thought she was the main

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star of the fucking show. Then her husband gets

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involved. And her husband says, move along, move

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on to your next joke. Tell your wife to shut

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the fuck up. The comedian just stood there and

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he's like, I'm not saying another fucking word

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until security kicks these two motherfuckers

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out. Because I don't fucking play that bullshit.

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I would have done the same thing. And they got

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kicked out. I would have been like, oh, you want

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to act like a child? Guess what? You're going

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to get treated like one. You are not the director

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of my fucking comedy show. So if you're getting

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mad because your wife is drunk, if she's heckling

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me and I'm handling my business and she's getting

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mad at that, that's your fucking problem. Sounds

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like you got some issues too, bitch. Why would

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you go to a comedy show and instigate something

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like that? I don't understand it. You went with

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an agenda to that. That was just un -fucking

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-clocked. Move on. Move on to your next joke.

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No, sorry. Well, I actually witnessed this one

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time for real. I went to Zany's Comedy Club here

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in Nashville, Don. Do you remember Tim Wilson?

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I do. So Tim Wilson was a comedian. He did a

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stand -up act, but he also recorded songs. But

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the songs were comedy songs. Oh, so kind of like

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Bo Burnham, like what he does. I think you and

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I were at that show together. We were at one

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of those shows together with Tim. It might have...

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been so because jim lightman got us tickets to

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see this we got like vip seats or whatever tim

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came out and was doing a show and he was fucking

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hilarious and a man started heckling him now

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this man was a veteran so of course you know

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you think a comedian is going to cut this dude

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some slack no he was starting to be a karen and

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he was starting to cross that line from between

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being a heckler and being a fucking pain in the

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ass and at one point tim was digging into this

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guy's ass so bad the guy was doing Heckling was

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getting pissed. And Tim's like, did you think

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because you're a veteran that I'm going to fucking

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take it easy on you? No, you came here to fuck

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with me. So game on motherfucker. Like he gave

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zero fucks. As you should. Nobody's immune. This

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is what these people do for a living, right?

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People have some fucking gall, man. People are

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experts in their own mind. A lot of times. Legend

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in their own mind. Yeah. Thinking they're like

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masters of like everything. And you're like.

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No. I'm a big fan of comedic intellect. If you

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want to hear the truth, go listen to an intelligent

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comedian or somebody who's speaking in terms

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of world facts and views. Those motherfuckers

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are smart and you're going to have a real hard

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time out negotiating them, so to speak, you know,

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or out funnying them. It's a free country. Freedom

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of speech, right? Yes, there is freedom of speech.

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However, you go to a comedy club, you add alcohol

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to that freedom of speech, and you decide that

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you're going to inject your main character syndrome

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into the comedy show, and you get torn apart.

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Don't cry about it, because when they tear your

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ass apart, there's no freedom of speech at that

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point. Freedom of speech, our First Amendment,

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reminding the government that they cannot limit

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your speech, even if that speech is a hate speech.

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That is still freedom of speech. And say things

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against the government. That's freedom of speech.

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What I say to Jake has nothing to do with freedom

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of speech. If I go to a comedy club and I'm yapping,

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that has nothing to do with free speech in a

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political sense. But freedom of speech has never

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exempted anyone from the resultant retort. So

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you fuck around. Part of the process of fucking

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around, as we know, is finding out. You gonna

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find out. So fuck around and find out, basically.

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I just had a real -time what the fuck happened

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just outside the window. This is how shit happens,

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right? So it has been raining since early this

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morning. And it was raining when we started recording.

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And my street is a haven for people walking their

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dogs, walking their kids. Walking their kids.

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A couple minutes ago, I don't know if you saw

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me look over and make a face, but this dude was

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walking his dog with a baby. I'm assuming there

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was a baby in the stroller. And it was pouring

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down, raining. Enough to where the dog was stopping

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like every couple inches to shake the water off.

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And I'm like, you know, I'm all about walking

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a kid and walking a dog. But obviously when you

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left your house, whatever neighborhood that you're

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in. It was either raining or looked like it was

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going to rain. And now you have your kid and

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your dog in that pouring rain. They're going

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to be soaked. I at least thought, what the fuck?

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Hopefully it's not like a legit infant. I mean,

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I don't know. It was a stroller, so that's all

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I know. Real time, what the fuck happens. Listen,

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that's lit, Jake. No cap. Lit? I mean, maybe

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that was that dude's flex. I'll just wait until

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you start getting the Gen Alphas that come in

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saying, like, that's so Ohio. What the skibbity?

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Yeah, that's fucking low -key. I don't know what

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half that shit means. That's low -key slinging

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shade, baby. So, Jake, tell us about when you

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walk into a restaurant and you order something

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with no goddamn onions. Because you can't just

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pull an onion off without onion residual being

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on there. It's just too fucking late. You've

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got to start over. You know, I don't think I've

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ever talked about this. I fucking hate. Raw onions.

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Raw onions, right. I can't eat them. Do you make

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an exception for in salsa? No, I can't even do

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salsa. So it's no pico de gallo onions, none

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of that. Yeah, because pico, they use those fucking

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red onions too. They're strong as fuck. Yeah,

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they are. But raw onions, I will gag and I will

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barf. Those two things will happen sequentially,

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okay? Damn, Jake. However. I can eat them if

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they're cooked. So you'll eat them slimy but

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not raw. Is it a texture thing? No, no. There's

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a different texture between a raw onion and a

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cooked onion, right? It's the acidity in a raw

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onion that will just make me sick. I can't do

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it. Now, I can eat a raw radish, which is a very

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close relative to the onion, super close. I'm

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fine with radishes, but some people are going

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to be like, well, why don't you just do a Vidalia

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onion? It's the same thing. Something in the

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genetic makeup of onions in general that they

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share that you can't have. So if I go to a burger

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place, Don and I's favorite burger place is Burger

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King. If you order a Whopper or a Double Whopper,

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and if you don't tell them anything to change

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on it, it will come with onions, lettuce, tomatoes,

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mayo, you know, the whole nine yards, right?

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Onions just come automatically unless you tell

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them don't. put onions on it. Right. Hey, let

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me get a Whopper with no onions. Nine times out

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of 10, they're not making that sandwich special

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for me. They're taking one that's already been

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wrapped up. They're going to take the top bun

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off and they're going to pick the onions off.

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That's what they do. You can argue with me all

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day long, but that's what they do. I've had it

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happen to me enough times where I order no onions,

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and the first bite, I can still taste the onion

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because that onion leaves a flavor trail behind

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that is unmistakable, and I will gag, and I will

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take the sandwich back, and I'll be like, make

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me another goddamn sandwich. This time, don't

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pick the onions off. Just put it together with

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no fucking onions. Oh, yeah. I'm getting animated

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now because how fucking hard is it to just make

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a sandwich, assemble it, Without onions. And

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then the part two to that is a lot of these places

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have these vegetables that they use for their

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sandwiches, Subway, burger places, okay? They

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will use the same goddamn knife to cut the onion

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as they will the tomatoes or the pickles or whatever

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else they're using, right? Even if they assemble

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it without onions, because they sliced that tomato

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with the same knife that they sliced the onion,

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guess what I'm tasting? Onion. Now, you can call

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that nitpicky as fuck, but I call it... I don't

00:10:43.159 --> 00:10:44.840
want to taste fucking onion. That's a pretty

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powerful. Here's the thing, though. It's not

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for anyone to say what you like and don't like.

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None of us like to get over dramatized with anything,

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but sometimes it's necessary. Yeah. Right. When

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you walk in there and say, listen, guys, it's

00:10:57.700 --> 00:10:59.639
kind of like peanut allergies. If you say you

00:10:59.639 --> 00:11:01.980
have a peanut allergy, when you buy a plane ticket,

00:11:02.120 --> 00:11:05.000
they remove peanuts for everybody. I mean, there

00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:08.059
is not a peanut on the plane. So my recommendation

00:11:08.059 --> 00:11:11.039
is this because people get what they give. If

00:11:11.039 --> 00:11:14.019
you go in there and you are like, listen, guys,

00:11:14.279 --> 00:11:16.259
I love you guys. You're the best Burger King

00:11:16.259 --> 00:11:18.840
on the planet. Please do me a favor because I

00:11:18.840 --> 00:11:24.259
am deathly allergic to the tryptophanic lecithin

00:11:24.259 --> 00:11:30.299
vitamin DL 12 .29er within Vidalia onions, which

00:11:30.299 --> 00:11:31.700
is what you use here at Burger King. I don't

00:11:31.700 --> 00:11:33.700
know if you knew that or not. Please make me

00:11:33.700 --> 00:11:36.220
a hamburger that has not touched onions. The

00:11:36.220 --> 00:11:37.820
knife has not touched onions because it will

00:11:37.820 --> 00:11:39.419
fucking kill me dead. Right in your restaurant.

00:11:39.820 --> 00:11:41.620
Unless you want to call the meat wagon over here

00:11:41.620 --> 00:11:43.639
to pick Jake up. So I have kind of a tie -in

00:11:43.639 --> 00:11:45.960
to a guest that we had that the episode didn't

00:11:45.960 --> 00:11:48.320
air because JJ's microphone was all kinds of

00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:49.720
fucked up and there was all kinds of noise happening.

00:11:49.860 --> 00:11:52.320
But when I was stationed in Texas, JJ and I and

00:11:52.320 --> 00:11:54.659
a couple of friends went to Corpus Christi one

00:11:54.659 --> 00:11:56.539
night. We were out partying. And of course, you

00:11:56.539 --> 00:11:57.960
know, at two o 'clock in the morning, you get

00:11:57.960 --> 00:12:01.269
hungry. You want a burger. Or Taco Bell. So we

00:12:01.269 --> 00:12:03.730
went to, we went to Whataburger and I ordered

00:12:03.730 --> 00:12:06.230
a double and I said, no onions. So we all get

00:12:06.230 --> 00:12:08.470
our food and we drove back to the club that we

00:12:08.470 --> 00:12:09.850
were at because the club was still open. It was

00:12:09.850 --> 00:12:11.590
one of those after hours clubs. And I bit into

00:12:11.590 --> 00:12:13.309
this fucking burger. First fucking bite. Like

00:12:13.309 --> 00:12:14.610
they didn't even try to take the onions off.

00:12:14.649 --> 00:12:15.850
They were still on. It was like, I think there

00:12:15.850 --> 00:12:20.509
was fucking onions on there. Ew. They probably

00:12:20.509 --> 00:12:22.450
heard me say no onions and they're probably like,

00:12:22.529 --> 00:12:24.350
fuck this guy. Right? So I bit into it and I

00:12:24.350 --> 00:12:26.289
literally just fucking yacked. Like I leaned

00:12:26.289 --> 00:12:28.529
out the fucking door and fucking yacked. JJ was

00:12:28.529 --> 00:12:31.990
so fucking pissed. JJ said, Jake, get back in

00:12:31.990 --> 00:12:34.070
the fucking car. She got behind the wheel and

00:12:34.070 --> 00:12:36.490
drove back to the fucking Whataburger. And they're

00:12:36.490 --> 00:12:39.090
open like 24 -7. She walked in there and she

00:12:39.090 --> 00:12:40.990
fucking threw it at him. She's like, what part

00:12:40.990 --> 00:12:43.090
of fucking no onions did she fucking lit them

00:12:43.090 --> 00:12:45.090
up? If JJ had gone any further with it, they

00:12:45.090 --> 00:12:46.309
probably would have called the cops on us. I

00:12:46.309 --> 00:12:48.169
mean, they gave me another burger and it didn't

00:12:48.169 --> 00:12:49.570
have onions on it, but it probably had fucking

00:12:49.570 --> 00:12:52.009
spit and fucking pubes. Accidentally hit the

00:12:52.009 --> 00:12:54.269
floor a couple times before it made it onto the

00:12:54.269 --> 00:12:56.750
bun. Yeah, when we get JJ back, I want to ask

00:12:56.750 --> 00:12:58.049
her if she remembers that. But yeah, she was

00:12:58.049 --> 00:13:01.159
hot. Ireland got a... taco bell wait they haven't

00:13:01.159 --> 00:13:03.740
had one no they never had taco bell in ireland

00:13:03.740 --> 00:13:06.500
and they are finally getting taco bell over there

00:13:06.500 --> 00:13:09.779
and there are a lot of people both civilian and

00:13:09.779 --> 00:13:12.100
people that work for like the cities that are

00:13:12.100 --> 00:13:15.019
like i don't think our old sewage system infrastructure

00:13:15.019 --> 00:13:20.320
truly is going to be able to handle what is the

00:13:20.320 --> 00:13:23.519
quote was uh and it said expert which makes me

00:13:23.519 --> 00:13:26.110
think expert is like Joe Schmo on the street

00:13:26.110 --> 00:13:28.409
was saying. He's like, you think our old sewage

00:13:28.409 --> 00:13:31.509
pipes can take the addition of Taco Bell outlets,

00:13:31.629 --> 00:13:34.370
dozens of these diarrhea cannons constantly firing

00:13:34.370 --> 00:13:37.549
off? Lunacy. Okay. Wow. That was the quote I

00:13:37.549 --> 00:13:39.350
got. I was like, you know, they've never had

00:13:39.350 --> 00:13:41.149
a Taco Bell. So they're like, they don't think

00:13:41.149 --> 00:13:45.090
they can handle it. I'm just trying to figure

00:13:45.090 --> 00:13:47.409
out what a Burrito Supreme is going to taste

00:13:47.409 --> 00:13:50.049
like after about four or five Guinnesses. Don't

00:13:50.049 --> 00:13:50.909
tell me. Probably delightful. Because I got a

00:13:50.909 --> 00:13:52.330
Taco Bell within walking distance from where

00:13:52.330 --> 00:13:54.990
I live. I know. I've got one like within a mile

00:13:54.990 --> 00:13:57.009
and a half of my house. And my wife's a big fucking

00:13:57.009 --> 00:13:59.070
fan of Guinness. So we'll go over there. We'll

00:13:59.070 --> 00:14:00.610
test that theory. Well, at least he didn't say

00:14:00.610 --> 00:14:05.149
bruh. You did say bro. Bruh. Bruh. Bruh. So that

00:14:05.149 --> 00:14:07.490
being said, I say we road trip. We get us a flight

00:14:07.490 --> 00:14:10.629
together and we go eat Taco Bell. I need to try

00:14:10.629 --> 00:14:14.029
the Ireland Taco Bell. Irish tacos. There's a

00:14:14.029 --> 00:14:15.970
song in there somewhere, Jake. There has to be.

00:14:16.009 --> 00:14:18.570
I will say in France, just like you heard in

00:14:18.570 --> 00:14:20.610
the movie Pulp Fiction, where John Travolta is

00:14:20.610 --> 00:14:22.110
talking about you can get a beer at a Burger

00:14:22.110 --> 00:14:24.029
King. Yes, that is true. Pulp Fiction, baby.

00:14:24.210 --> 00:14:26.470
The drinking age is much younger, too. I went

00:14:26.470 --> 00:14:28.929
to a Burger King in Dubai, which is a magnificent

00:14:28.929 --> 00:14:31.330
city. Oh, my God. Oh, yes, it is. And this Burger

00:14:31.330 --> 00:14:33.450
King was inside of a mall, and this mall was

00:14:33.450 --> 00:14:35.929
like three times the size of the Mall of America.

00:14:36.029 --> 00:14:38.190
It was just amazing. I went in there, and it

00:14:38.190 --> 00:14:40.470
had been a couple months since I had had a Whopper.

00:14:40.549 --> 00:14:42.070
So I went in there, and I'm like, I just want

00:14:42.070 --> 00:14:44.340
to. Double Whopper with cheese, no onions. I

00:14:44.340 --> 00:14:46.259
got that Whopper and it was the best fucking

00:14:46.259 --> 00:14:48.340
Whopper I ever had in my fucking life. And they

00:14:48.340 --> 00:14:50.259
didn't put any onions on it and it tasted good.

00:14:50.360 --> 00:14:51.940
It tasted like a Whopper from the States. It

00:14:51.940 --> 00:14:53.700
didn't taste any fucking different. The reason

00:14:53.700 --> 00:14:56.240
I like Burger King here is because it's beef,

00:14:56.600 --> 00:14:59.120
never frozen, blah, blah, blah. A couple of years

00:14:59.120 --> 00:15:03.019
ago, I used to be not political, but anti against

00:15:03.019 --> 00:15:05.820
a certain party or a certain someone. And I used

00:15:05.820 --> 00:15:07.600
to get really stressed out about that shit because

00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:11.240
I was allowing something to affect me that...

00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:14.039
I had no control of anything that I would say

00:15:14.039 --> 00:15:16.120
or any argument that I would have with anybody.

00:15:16.340 --> 00:15:18.360
It was just a waste of my time and breath and

00:15:18.360 --> 00:15:20.700
energy to the point where I actually just had

00:15:20.700 --> 00:15:23.279
to let it go. And I literally just stopped watching

00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:25.759
the news. There is such a thing called fake news.

00:15:26.019 --> 00:15:28.259
However, your interpretation of that could be

00:15:28.259 --> 00:15:30.960
different from mine. Now, who's to say? What

00:15:30.960 --> 00:15:33.960
one person reports as news, another person will

00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:35.779
take that and interpret it. And because they've

00:15:35.779 --> 00:15:37.340
heard three other different versions of it, they're

00:15:37.340 --> 00:15:39.039
going to turn that into their truth. And then

00:15:39.039 --> 00:15:40.720
they're going to stand on that mountain and die

00:15:40.720 --> 00:15:43.320
on it. So here's where I have a problem with

00:15:43.320 --> 00:15:46.779
this. How do you unblur that line? If something

00:15:46.779 --> 00:15:49.320
newsworthy happens, even if there's video of

00:15:49.320 --> 00:15:50.639
it, now you can say, oh, well, that's just a

00:15:50.639 --> 00:15:55.039
deep AI fake. So how do you know now if something

00:15:55.039 --> 00:15:57.629
is presented to you? as news or something is

00:15:57.629 --> 00:16:00.789
presented to you as fact and have citations behind

00:16:00.789 --> 00:16:02.669
it or have things behind it that could potentially

00:16:02.669 --> 00:16:05.669
prove the validity of it. But yet all it takes

00:16:05.669 --> 00:16:08.330
is one fucking keyboard warrior to say, that's

00:16:08.330 --> 00:16:10.169
fake news. Well, just because I said it's fake

00:16:10.169 --> 00:16:13.149
news, that makes it fake news. I mean, what kind

00:16:13.149 --> 00:16:15.669
of reality are we living in now to where we don't

00:16:15.669 --> 00:16:17.730
know what's fake and what's not anymore? Who

00:16:17.730 --> 00:16:21.029
makes that or who is or what is going to draw

00:16:21.029 --> 00:16:23.250
that hard line that says, okay, this is fucking

00:16:23.250 --> 00:16:25.250
fact right here. There's no disputing this. This

00:16:25.250 --> 00:16:27.149
is what happened. You can't even do that these

00:16:27.149 --> 00:16:29.289
days. Here's the fun part right here, Jake, and

00:16:29.289 --> 00:16:31.129
the way I started looking at it, because you

00:16:31.129 --> 00:16:33.190
and I have been friends for a lot of years, and

00:16:33.190 --> 00:16:35.710
we went through that together at polar opposites

00:16:35.710 --> 00:16:39.490
of the political spectrum that we just disagreed.

00:16:39.769 --> 00:16:42.909
And the news stopped being the news, folks, in

00:16:42.909 --> 00:16:46.409
my opinion, and I'm old, when Walter Cronkite

00:16:46.409 --> 00:16:48.669
died or when he retired, right? That was the

00:16:48.669 --> 00:16:52.669
news. At the end of the day, folks reported what

00:16:52.669 --> 00:16:55.190
happened. Here's what happened. People like to

00:16:55.190 --> 00:16:57.529
make up things and call them facts a lot of times.

00:16:57.690 --> 00:16:59.470
It's one of the things that I see on a daily

00:16:59.470 --> 00:17:03.679
basis. The people who know the least. shit talk

00:17:03.679 --> 00:17:05.799
the most everything's entertainment television

00:17:05.799 --> 00:17:09.440
the things on tiktok youtube all these different

00:17:09.440 --> 00:17:11.519
things i go down rabbit holes like everybody

00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:14.579
else and i try to learn things about the things

00:17:14.579 --> 00:17:17.019
that affect me and you pick and choose some of

00:17:17.019 --> 00:17:20.039
those things and then you find ways to you find

00:17:20.039 --> 00:17:22.460
the facts in there somehow how do you do that

00:17:22.460 --> 00:17:24.759
like i know what does and does not spike my blood

00:17:24.759 --> 00:17:27.799
sugar I don't give a shit what you say or the

00:17:27.799 --> 00:17:29.539
scientists or anything else. This is what works

00:17:29.539 --> 00:17:32.440
for Don, right? That becomes my fact. You can

00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:34.519
have people get real hardcore. And I know that

00:17:34.519 --> 00:17:36.660
we've been through this together before and even

00:17:36.660 --> 00:17:38.740
in opposition, but remain friends because we're

00:17:38.740 --> 00:17:41.079
smarter than the average bear, I think. Is people

00:17:41.079 --> 00:17:43.140
will say, you can say, listen, the sky is blue.

00:17:43.319 --> 00:17:45.839
Well, we can agree to disagree. No, no, we really

00:17:45.839 --> 00:17:48.579
can't. Okay. We're not going to agree to disagree.

00:17:48.700 --> 00:17:50.819
It is fucking blue and you are wrong. There are

00:17:50.819 --> 00:17:53.359
those. Now what blue it is, that's your truth.

00:17:53.519 --> 00:17:56.170
But the fact that it's blue. is blue it's blue

00:17:56.170 --> 00:17:58.470
it's blue just like this badass wall behind me

00:17:58.470 --> 00:18:01.829
is yellow well it's gold okay fair fair enough

00:18:01.829 --> 00:18:04.369
man to you your truth is that it's gold in any

00:18:04.369 --> 00:18:07.420
case i stopped worrying about that My job is

00:18:07.420 --> 00:18:10.359
to do the very best I can with what I have. So

00:18:10.359 --> 00:18:12.640
I stopped worrying about things. Consequently,

00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:15.339
my anxiety went down. My blood pressure went

00:18:15.339 --> 00:18:17.000
down. All these different things. You know, we're

00:18:17.000 --> 00:18:18.660
all in this together. And it doesn't matter what

00:18:18.660 --> 00:18:20.279
we like to title ourselves or call ourselves.

00:18:20.740 --> 00:18:22.460
Everybody's got an opinion. And the beauty part,

00:18:22.599 --> 00:18:25.180
where this all ties together, is that you and

00:18:25.180 --> 00:18:27.039
I, the three of us are veterans. And sometimes

00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:28.180
we can look at each other and go, well, that

00:18:28.180 --> 00:18:31.140
was stupid. But that's my opinion. And it in

00:18:31.140 --> 00:18:33.059
no way reflects fact. Well, it's the same with

00:18:33.059 --> 00:18:35.140
the fucking news. I have always been of the opinion.

00:18:35.589 --> 00:18:38.630
which does not make it fact that as a professional

00:18:38.630 --> 00:18:41.549
news agency, if that's what you want to call

00:18:41.549 --> 00:18:44.250
yourself, there should be some liability for

00:18:44.250 --> 00:18:47.849
falsifying information to up the entertainment

00:18:47.849 --> 00:18:50.569
value and to gather more viewers. But like anything

00:18:50.569 --> 00:18:53.269
else, there are a lot of very smart people out

00:18:53.269 --> 00:18:55.849
there all over the world who will find a loophole

00:18:55.849 --> 00:18:57.970
in the law. And that's why laws are written with

00:18:57.970 --> 00:19:00.569
all these. And you can't do this, this, this,

00:19:00.710 --> 00:19:01.849
this, this, this. And you're like, well, that's

00:19:01.849 --> 00:19:04.200
common sense. No, sir. It's not, you have to

00:19:04.200 --> 00:19:06.140
explain it because then the next thing will happen.

00:19:06.160 --> 00:19:08.400
I was like, well, it wasn't written down. I never,

00:19:08.440 --> 00:19:10.299
I didn't read that anywhere. That's my spiel

00:19:10.299 --> 00:19:12.720
on that. And it sucks, but it is what it is.

00:19:12.759 --> 00:19:14.279
So I just kind of laugh it off these days. Somebody

00:19:14.279 --> 00:19:15.420
told me this and it might've been, I thought

00:19:15.420 --> 00:19:18.000
it was you, Jake, unless you give a fuck, the

00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:19.720
happier you're going to be. That probably was

00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:21.859
me. It sounds like something I would say. So

00:19:21.859 --> 00:19:24.980
my all time favorite movie is a Western tombstone.

00:19:25.119 --> 00:19:28.460
Yes, it is. Classic Western. Val Kilmer, rest

00:19:28.460 --> 00:19:30.799
in peace, did the best Doc Holliday that has

00:19:30.799 --> 00:19:34.299
ever been captured on film. And he has a catchphrase

00:19:34.299 --> 00:19:37.119
in that movie that he says twice. He says, I'm

00:19:37.119 --> 00:19:39.880
your Huckleberry. Not once has any version of

00:19:39.880 --> 00:19:42.259
that film ever come out where he says, I'll be

00:19:42.259 --> 00:19:44.990
your Huckleberry. but yet people will still quote

00:19:44.990 --> 00:19:47.890
that movie and say, oh, Doc Holliday in Tombstone,

00:19:47.930 --> 00:19:49.910
I'll be your huckleberry. Motherfucker, it's

00:19:49.910 --> 00:19:52.690
I'm your huckleberry, okay? Are you sure this

00:19:52.690 --> 00:19:54.549
isn't the Mandela Effect? No, I've seen that

00:19:54.549 --> 00:19:57.069
movie enough fucking times, I know. Say it right,

00:19:57.170 --> 00:19:59.650
bitch. Here's a fun thing, too, and Jake, I know

00:19:59.650 --> 00:20:01.819
you've used that term for years, in fact. Your

00:20:01.819 --> 00:20:04.640
studio, your business is named I'm Your Huckleberry

00:20:04.640 --> 00:20:07.019
Studios. For those of you who don't know, that's

00:20:07.019 --> 00:20:09.940
what we're recording. Val Kilmer said, I'm your

00:20:09.940 --> 00:20:12.519
Huckleberry in the movie. He admitted that during

00:20:12.519 --> 00:20:16.420
an interview. But the true way that that should

00:20:16.420 --> 00:20:19.279
have been stated is I'm your Hucklebearer, which

00:20:19.279 --> 00:20:22.660
are the folks we would call pallbearers, right?

00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:25.950
But he decided to say Huckleberry. On purpose.

00:20:26.009 --> 00:20:29.049
And clearly it stuck. But yeah, I'm your huckleberry.

00:20:29.329 --> 00:20:31.990
Regardless, huckleberry, huckleberry. He never

00:20:31.990 --> 00:20:34.650
said, I'll be your. He said, I'm your.