Laser Focused On My Ass

0:00 Why are my tits falling off? What's going on? What is... What the fuck? To make this long story longer, I think it was at a fucking birthday. Jake went for another naked hiney. You know naked hineys? 69 calories. Giggity. That's my favorite number. You can be gay as a picnic basket, in the words of my wife. You can have flowers shooting out of your ass. I don't give a fuck. Hey, what's up, everybody? What's up? Yeah, let's try that again, motherfucker. I'm Jake Jacobs. This is Sammy. This is the Don. And you're listening to... what the fuck what's up everybody welcome back to what the fuck the podcast where we say all the things you're thinking but probably shouldn't today we're joined by my good friend katie someone i've known since her days working at tony's food land in jolton tennessee Back then, she was bagging groceries, and now she's out here unpacking minds.

1:05 After leaving Tony's, she took a bold leap, joined the Air Force, and now she's the host of her own podcast, What the Psychology, where she dives into the weird, wild, and sometimes dark corners of human behavior. Katie, welcome to What the Fuck. How are you? I'm good. I'm so excited to be here. I've always just listened to other podcasts, especially like true crime ones. And I'm like, they mentioned like this person had this mental illness, but they never go into it or they never explore it or like just all the things that go with that. Or even with true crime, it's like, oh, this person had schizophrenia and they make it seem like everyone with schizophrenia is violent, which is. very not true like it's a very very low rate of people so i really try to emphasize like both the dark and the light side like let's talk about cults and all the horrible things and then some of us are more light -hearted don't even get me started about cults i i'm a cult fucking fanatic like anything dealing with the cult it's like fucking meth for me hearing about cults because i'm like just like seeing people crazier than me i think very early on i talked about milgram's experiment which is about obedience and manipulation and that actually that study came out because of the nuremberg trials and so it really tested the boundaries of humanity and how much control people can have over us oh yeah in later episodes i explored like how salesmen use tactics like manipulation tactics which kind of came out of that experiment and then i go into other cults too so one of the episodes you mentioned criminal minds a tv show

2:36 and i'm like oh my fucking god i use them a lot yeah That was a psychotic break. That's a really dark show. It is. That one of the actors left because it was too dark for him. Mandy Patinkin? Yeah. He regrets ever doing the show because he was like, it was too dark and I should have never done it. But that's part of humanity, unfortunately. But when you're exposed to that so much and there's not balance. But then he went on to do another show that was just as dark, if not darker and more violent. Well, he came to this revelation, I think, later in life. I think it was getting too dark for him at the time and he wanted a break from it. But then, yeah, he did go in and do another. Now he doesn't do anything acting, I think. Yeah, I think he's done. Retired, living his life with his wife in their cute little cabin, and their son, like, takes videos of them, and it's adorable. I love Mandy Patinkin. Even just, I think I had one episode about Halloween and talked about why Halloween is so intriguing, and even just, like, horror movies, like, you're put into a space where you know you're safe, and it's okay to explore those things. If you're constantly exposed to that, then it's not good.

3:38 Let's run upstairs, guys. If you go into a horror or a haunted house, except if it's like McKinney Manor, which is violent, whatever, you know you're in a safe space. You know you're exploring that darker side of humanity, but you're also safe while doing it. So it's also very interesting. Psychological concept. The title of the podcast and how it's like, what the fuck? That was the whole premise of what the psychology, but like a play on of words. So it's kind of funny how there's that connection there. Everyone says, what the fuck? If you don't say it, you're at least thinking it. And if you're not saying the word fuck, then you're saying, what the hell? You're saying a version of it. And they all have different meanings. When was the last time you either said it or thought it? I was very, very, very early on in the pregnancy. Like just found out a week before. And I was about six weeks pregnant, so very early. And I had some pain and some spotting, which spotting is normal.

4:33 Pain, not so much. And so I called the nurse's line. It's like 10 o 'clock at night. I'm like, I don't think I need to go to the emergency room, but maybe, I don't know. They're like, oh, it could be nothing. It could be ectopic, which means like an implanted outside your uterus, which is not good. You could die. You could die. And so they're like, maybe just in case. I'm like. Yeah, you think? Just let them do a quick little ultrasound -y sound. So we're sitting there in the room. It took forever. We didn't get out of there until like 4 in the morning. They did an ultrasound, and when you're so early on, they can do an abdominal, but it's not as accurate, so they have to do, they call it transvaginal, where you pretty much get a long, nice, glued -up tube. It's like a giant dildo they stick up, and it's got a probe in it. Yeah, so you get probed. That's what it equates to. Yeah, so a very good time. And so the tech is like, very good time um the tech the tech gets you know she's like i'm gonna extra lube it up for you and you know and so you know she doesn't have a vibrator function on it i wish that baby be moving i bet it's massage therapy oh my god but um so you know she puts the long probe in and i'm covering everything my husband's just sitting there it's like damn i haven't had this much action since i've been pregnant and my husband's like oh my oh my husband's like what the fuck Rude. I mean, I feel like at this point my husband

6:04 should know, but sometimes he's just like, I can't believe you just said that, or I just can't believe, like, oh my God. So Don has been hinting at a special what the fuck. I think this one here is going to be more what the fuck from these two. I was at Bike Week, as you guys know, here in Daytona Beach. So I live in Florida, Katie, in St. Augustine, Florida. And I went to Bike Week. So one of the petty officers that used to report to me, we remained friends. And she's now human resources at Teddy Moore's Harley Davidson, the world's largest Harley Davidson dealership in Daytona Beach. I fucking went back to work. So I am a Harley Davidson sales director at Teddy Moore's. Early days. And if you don't think that was a what the fuck, I bypassed because of Ashley.

6:52 It's all about who you know sometimes. Sales director. I don't know enough people. Yeah, I'm the sales guy. So we know this motherfucker gets a fucking discount. True, true, true. Oh, yeah. Like you read about. For years and years since I retired from the Navy, I've done a bunch of things. Most recently, I've kind of left corporate America. I was the senior vice president of a large company. And before that, a senior VP of a much, much larger company. Damn. And most recently got fired. For telling HR to fuck off. I kind of did. When I sat down with the general sales manager and he was going through the compensation profile, I was slack -jawed. I couldn't believe the number. I was like, let me stop you right there. Are you serious? This is not La La Land, right? This is not Pine. This guy was like, no.

7:39 He said, our CEO, who is Teddy Moores, he's a biker just like we are, and he wants you to make money. And I was fucking shocked. Literally, I'm still shocked. He said, dude, you can make quite a fine living selling motorcycles. Working five days a week and regular hours. He said, I don't like doing late deals and all that shit. Get here. I want you to go home on time. I want you to spend time with your family. Get major holidays off. You know, there's always the rallies and things where you work your brains out. And I was thinking to myself, man, I can get out there and talk to people, which is what I do well. Build bridges. I can sell ice water to an Eskimo and do it with a product that I truly believe in. Yeah. Bottom line is five minutes into the interview, he was like, dude, this is going to be a job. I was like, I want the job.

8:27 He says, it's yours. That's awesome. Now we got to make a spot for you because they didn't have a spot. He's like, they created one for you. That is awesome. I get to play with motorcycles all fucking day, which is kind of a dream. That was my what the fuck. I didn't think I was going back to work. I thought I'd just retire my shit. Maybe find a band to play in. Don, my t -shirt size is 2X, by the way. You a 2X? Okay, then. What's really cool is I come from a Harley family. Nice. My grandfather rode Harleys. I remember being five and he's sticking me on the back of his Harley. My stepdad has a Harley. He goes to bike week almost every year in Daytona. So that's really fun. And then another thing, you mentioned St. Augustine. Before I got pregnant, I was considering going for my doctorate after this, and there's St. Augustine School of Health Sciences. and it's like you have to graduate, and I'm still considering going there eventually.

9:15 So if I ever go to that school, maybe I'll pop over that way. Yeah, I mean, we live St. Augustine proper, so we're pretty close to downtown. If you're there, Katie, and someone's giving you shit, they call Don the hitman, so you're there. Just look him up. Good to know. Shit works both ways, too. No, I'm a little bit of a traitor, but I'm a new biker, so I have a little Honda Grom, a little crotch rocket. That thing is fun. I told my wife, I said, I think we're going to buy a couple of those just for sport. They're so fun. They're really a lot of fun. But that's one thing, like I used to ride to work every day and then. As soon as I got pregnant, my husband was like, you're not allowed to ride anymore. I'm like, yes, I am. He's like, it's not you. It's other people. And I don't want you to risk.

9:55 I'm like, OK, I get that. So I trust you on the road. You don't trust everybody else around you on the road. OK, so I moved to North Carolina. It'll be three years this July. Ask me if I've changed over my driver's license or license plates. Sam, have you changed over any of your shit? No. Watch that. My inspection is three years dead and my tags are two years dead. But they haven't pulled me over because I. think it's a not my monkey not my circus situation there's still virginia tags so i've been in front of let me knock on all the wood around me right now i've been behind cops or been in front of cops and they haven't done anything but it's i have to go up to virginia for this con that i'm going to next week yeah and so i'm like i have to because otherwise i'm gonna have like thousands of dollars in tickets knowing my luck to drive up there and back so i was like trying to get all my shit together for it has been a nightmare because i didn't realize all that I needed. I will tell you this because I spent a lot of time in Virginia and I spent a lot of times with an expired inspection sticker. And typically they won't pull you over for an expired inspection sticker unless you're being stupid.

10:57 If they catch you for running a red light or rolling a stop sign. They'll add that shit right on there. They will pull you over and, oh, by the way, why is your inspection two years expired? Let's talk about that. I did finally get all the paperwork and everything I needed. So on Monday, I will be going in. It's literally, I'll be two days out from leaving and I'll be getting this shit taken care of. When I first started doing the door dashing and everything, and I had an order that ended up being on the base, which I don't have base access because I don't have a card to get on base right now. The guys that were checking my vehicle. as they're telling me like, no, you got to turn around. The guy walks back, he comes back and he tilts his head and like looks in my window and he goes. you know, you're tagged two years dead. And I was like, I'm fully aware, sir. Why do you think I'm doing this? I was like, I'm trying to get the money to get this shit. I was like that.

11:43 And you know, ADHD is a hell of a drug. I got real bad executive dysfunction. Hey, I know a therapist. Like if you looked at my call log, it's wild. It's like randomized between phone calls to my mom and dad, my neighbor who used to work for the license plate agency who I just found out retired in September. So I'm like calling her, calling my parents, calling Chrysler Capital, who I have my loan through for my vehicle because obviously I'm still paying on it so I don't have the title I like had to call them twice because the first person I talked to I guess she was new or just dumb I don't know but she was like oh it's gonna take like two to four weeks for us to send it out the DMV has to request it and my neighbor was like no North Carolina does not request it You have to request it. And I was like, that's what I thought. She's like, girl, call those motherfuckers back. So I call them back through all this going on. I'm also like fielding calls between my mom and my dad because I was freaking out. Like, I don't know what I'm going to do. And then I finally call back. And the girl I got the second time I called back, I was like, here's the scenario. I talked to one of your colleagues. She told me this. I feel like that can't possibly be correct. She just goes, she must have been new girl on my email to you right now. And I was like, thank you so much. Because otherwise I was going to have to spend $200 to rent a fucking car to drive up there because it'd be cheaper for me to rent a car than it would to incur all the tickets that I would, knowing my luck, end up getting.

13:03 So much to change over your car to a new state. It's like you got to do the license first and then on your way over to get the... And in North Carolina, it's not the DMV. There's the... license agency and then the license plate agency two different buildings in two different parts of town i have a quick what the fuck here it has to deal with colonoscopies which is sounds like a good time Yeah. I just scheduled mine today. I had my first and only colonoscopy in 2017. I was 51. So the VA was only a year late in getting it to me, but they had to outsource me to community care. And then afterwards they were like, Hey, we'll see you in 10 years. You're good to go. So lately I've been going through some issues with my hand with carpal tunnel. I deal with the VA on the telephone almost on a daily basis.

13:44 So a couple of days ago I get a phone call and it's from scheduling and they're like, yeah, we need to schedule your colonoscopy. And I'm like, hang on a sec, let me do the math here. 2017, this is 2025. That's eight years. Why are we doing a colonoscopy? Because the last I heard was, we'll see you in 10 years. So the lady on the phone goes, let's see, you have colon cancer, right? I'm like, no, the fuck I don't. No one told me if I do. And they're like, no. Bitch, get your notes together. So literally, the VA is so backed up, they're looking at the scheduling. If they don't get me in in May, I won't have another one at the VA within a 10 -year time frame. So that's why they were doing what they were doing. So it's either they get you in in May or they get you in in, what, 2030? I don't know, right? That's when we get flying cars.

14:28 That's a wild range. Sounds like the VA, though, to be honest. Yeah. So I'm thinking, okay, go ahead and schedule it. They're like, it's going to be May 23rd, blah, blah, blah, 25th, whatever the fuck. I'm like, I don't care. Just schedule it. I'll be there, right? So I'm thinking to myself, okay, I don't have to think about that for the next two months, right? I'm good. I have other things I need to think about. The next day, I get a notification. on my phone. Your FedEx package should be here tomorrow. I'm like, who the fuck is sending me a FedEx package? I had no fucking clue. So the next day comes, I get it. It's the fucking colonoscopy prep. Jesus. It's the fucking jug with the fucking mix and the whole nine yards. I'm like, Jesus Christ. And then that same day, I got a letter in the mail from the VA. Hey, these are all the instructions for you. So they're like, pardon the pun, they're on this shit, right? Right. Wildly efficient for once. They're laser focused on my ass for some reason. I don't fucking know. Something wrong with your ass they haven't told you. What's wrong with your booty, son? So that was my what the fuck. Like, why is the VA interested in my ass? Don, do you have any insight on that? Have you seen your ass lately?